Inauguration day or day of mourning?

 

Inauguration day or day of Mourning? 

by Germanico Vaca

As January 20, 2025, approaches—the fateful day when the new President of the United States will be inaugurated—I must admit that I’m teetering on the brink of existential despair. It feels as though the U.S. is poised to dive headfirst into a period of unimaginable darkness, like a badly written sequel to an already terrible franchise. Why? Because the man preparing to take the reins is less "leader of the free world" and more "QVC salesman meets medieval court jester." Yes, I’m talking about Donald Trump.

Leadership, in its true form, is about unity, inspiration, and vision. A leader should elevate not just their nation but the world. Trump, however, seems less interested in uplifting humanity and more focused on selling branded hats, NFTs, and conspiracy theories. (Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if he started peddling a "Build the Wall" crypto coin next—backed by nothing but hot air and his sheer audacity. Trump may tokenize his lies and sell them as NFT's)

For nine long years, Trump’s divisive rhetoric has loomed over America like a bad smell from his diaper you just can’t get rid of. The man thrives on chaos, pitting neighbor against neighbor, all while hawking whatever snake oil he’s cooked up that week. And if he’s not selling something, he’s threatening someone. By now, even Denmark, Panama, and Canada are nervously checking their door locks, wondering what they did to earn a spot on Trump’s hit list.

In a recent press conference, a reporter dared to ask why Trump seemed fixated on these countries. After a deep sniffle (Adderall kicking in) and some suspicious diaper-related sound effects, Trump delivered an incoherent word salad that would leave even the most skilled linguists baffled. Of course. Trump claims that whenever he embarks in some incoherent rambling is "the weave" a genius netting of amphetamines inspired shit, the phrase “concept of a plan” made an appearance, as did his uncle from MIT (naturally). And just when you thought it couldn’t get weirder, Trump declared he might simply tell the aliens to leave. Why? Because, of course, “aliens respect me. I have the best words. They know it. Everyone knows it.” Nobody could understand if he was referring to illegal aliens of the pesky riders of the New Jersey drones. 

Meanwhile, Americans are left grappling with real disasters: climate change, economic instability, unending California fires (because they could have avoided the fires if only, they would have listened to Trump and raked 163,695 square miles according to the moron in chief) and the looming threat of Yellowstone erupting. (To be fair, if Yellowstone does blow, maybe it can take Trump with it. I’m sure the Mexicans would raise a tequila toast to that.) Over family dinners, Mexicans don’t even bother discussing the alien drones over New Jersey—they’re too busy muttering, “Pinche Trump.”

Trump’s "strategy" for dealing with, well, everything seems to involve negotiating or obeying the reptilian elite. Rumor has it that he’s bartering Mar-a-Lago for Jupiter—because, as he reportedly quipped, “Mars is a dump. It’s just desert. Jupiter is yuge, and it has Ivanka vibes.” (No word yet on whether Larry Fink or Klaus Schwab are packing their bags for Jupiter too, but hey, the lizard king’s schedule is probably tight.)

The tragedy here isn’t just Trump’s mind-bending narcissism; it’s the wasted potential of a nation led astray by someone who thinks diplomacy is calling everyone “stupid” and policy is whatever pops into his head during his morning Diet Coke ritual. Imagine if we had a president who embraced technological innovation, environmental stewardship, and global cooperation instead of acting like a budget Bond villain.

But no, Trump’s vision for America involves economic collapse, as Trump wants to create to massive bubbles, the crypto bubble and the derivatives debt bubble which will pop the US dollar and the USA maybe facing total collapse, rampant division, and a tariff-driven isolationism that might as well come with a free MAGA hat. His approach to global challenges—climate change, AI, international collaboration—makes about as much sense as handing a toddler the nuclear codes. Once Americans faced massive hyperinflation they may join the Mexican word "Pinche Trump"

And what’s his answer to crises like alien invasions or rising sea levels? “I’ll figure it out. Maybe. Or I won’t. You’ll see.” Socrates, rolling in his grave, reminds us that justice is acting rightly no matter the consequences. Trump? He skips right past justice and dives headlong into whatever benefits him most, whether it’s sowing discord, hoarding power, or making yet another incoherent teleprompter speech that leaves the nation collectively facepalming.

The real question is: what compels this man to think he has the right to act so destructively? It’s not leadership—it’s egomania. A leader should offer hope and solutions, not lies and chaos. Yet here we are, America teetering on the brink, with a president who believes he’s the smartest man in the room because he once built a tacky hotel and yelled at Rosie O’Donnell on Twitter.

But hey, maybe the aliens will save us. Or better yet, maybe they’ll take Trump with them. One can dream. Using Trump’s own words “Father Enki, brother Marduck, cousin Ninurta if you are listening, Please, take him away.”